Teeth

Today I took my ass to the dentist. I had to make it in; I was so over due.
It was painful, I need it surgery or as the doctor call it "simple procedure". fuck, if a simple procedures leave you like this then I going to need a lot of drugs to get by. Hopefully I never have to go through anything of the kind again.
Sometime ago, I wanted to have a nose job but from this tiny thing I'm crying like a little bitch; Imagine after major change.
So the story with this tooth goes back to a time when I was lost in the darkest place I have ever been. Everything about others matter more than everything that had to deal with my life.
So I took myself for granted, I didn't push myself and always let other do what they wanted with me. Maybe it could be different if things were different but they were not and whats the only thing for me to do. Learn how to learn to live with those what some people say is the flaw of life.
so I take each day to ease my pain and turn it into action even when at times i don't feel like doing anything at all.
I recognized the importance of being in the moment and defecating the past as you smell what it was and is no more. Understanding the I am the driving force in my life. That it doesn't matter what happens in the world I can affected because i choose to care. I understand that with love I can move mountains of pain and regret, and turn them into abundant fields of sunflowers, and that is truly a blessing.